I’m planning the office picnic,
There’s no doubt all will enjoy,
With volley ball and horseshoes and good food.
I’ve planned each little detail,
And I know it will be great,
But I can’t go; I’m waiting to lose weight.

I’ve received an invitation
To the party of the year,
With influential people and champaign,
If I could fit into a 12
I wouldn’t hesitate,
But I can’t go; I’m waiting to lose weight.

My class reunion’s coming.
I’ve been planning for 10 years,
To show them all how wonderful I look.
I’d love to hear the gossip,
Reminisce and celebrate,
But I can’t go; I’m waiting to lose weight.

My daughter’s getting married
In exactly seven months.
I’ll start to diet first thing Monday morning.
I’ve heard his mother’s slender,
So we surely won’t relate.
Oh, God! I hope I can lose weight.

My husband wants a beach vacation,
Fact is I do too, but
A bathing suit would show my lumpy shape.
I’ll talk him into thinking
That the mountains would be great.
I can’t go now. I’m waiting to lose weight.

I’m lying on white satin,
Hearing friends and loved ones cry.
I wish I’d just accepted who I was,
Instead of wasting moments
I can never re-create.
Looks like I’ll finally lose the weight.

* * *

circa.1971 Laverne H. Pollak (Bardy)